January
I am forced to grow up
Before my time
Confusion
February
I get a little worse
Start to cry every night
Sadness
March
I cling to old things
Try to turn back time
Failure
April
I start to write
An outlet for built-up emotion
Expression
May
I fall apart for real this time
Do things I now wish I hadnt
Mistake
June
I staple up the gap in my chest
And begin hiding behind fake smiles
Illusion
July
I retreat further behind my wall
Forgetting how to cry, laugh, or scream
Isolation
August
I am caged
Trapped by my uselessness
Insignificant
September
I dont know what to do
Nothing seems to matter anymore
Apathy
October
Ive snapped, it seems
Worse than before and oh so impossible to fix
Broken
November
I stumble upon something unexpected
A reunion, a confession, a promise
Hope
December
I start planning
Realizing that all is not lost
Though I am choking everyday
I am choking on rainbows
I swallow the beautiful things
As I find them
They are the product of all these months
Of these years that once seemed wasted
Light, the light of hope
Filters through every tear
And casts rainbows at my feet
I pick them up, collect them
And save them, one by one,
Save them for all the days I need saving
For all the days I need to feed this emptiness
Save them so that I can return them
Someday
I fill myself with seasons and seasons of rainbows
I can see it now
The color after the storm
I see
Possibilities, dripping with
Clean water.
Chigo-chigo
Chigo-chigo